25 Ho-Ho-Ho-Larious Accounting Jokes

Christmas is a time to put your feet up and make time to relax with family. We wanted to bring some festive cheer to brighten up your day before everyone finishes for the Christmas break by sharing our 25-favourite Christmas accounting jokes.

Whilst we can’t guarantee the quality of these jokes, hopefully they will crack a smile and bring some festive cheer to the Winter days. Snow, here goes

1. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? They don’t wear a tie and come in after 8am

2. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.

3. There are three types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

4. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

5. How can you tell when the head accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

6. What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.

7. Why does Santa like visiting the UK? He can claim Gift Relief.

8. Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes? Because they only have one scent.

9. What is the definition of “accountant”? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.

10. What’s grey and not there? An accountant on holiday.

11. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.

12. What is he definition of a good accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after them.

13. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows they’re boring.

14. Why was the accountant in rehab? Solvency abuse.

15. What’s the difference between a bank and an angry rhinoceros? The bank charges more!

16. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.

17. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days!

18. Why did the accountant fall off his bed? They didn’t have a balance sheet.

19. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.

20. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither.

21. Dad: Hey son, did you hear that new accounting joke?

Son: No?

Dad: It was accrual joke!

22. Where do elves hedge their bets? On the stocking exchange.

23. How does Santa Claus’ accountant value his sleigh? Net present value.

24. What is the employment status of Santa’s helpers? Elf-employed.

25. Why did Santa get in trouble with the tax man? He missed the deadline on his elf-assessment.

Well, that it. A round of Santa-plause, please. 

Ok, we’re serious now. That’s all we’ve got!

What’s not a joke is the self-assessment tax return. The deadline is coming up on 31^st January so get in touch if you need help with yours to avoid a late filing penalty. 

So, we have picked our brains to come up with our 25-best Christmas accounting jokes to brighten up your day. Unlike some other accountants, we promise we have a sense of humour as well as hard working staff, so why not see what services we offer for businesses and individuals.